dropping objects New Year's Eve

Times Square NYC eat your heart out! Sure the world media focuses on your ball drop but the small towns of South Central Pennsylvania take dropping objects on New Year’s Eve to another dimension.

Mechanicsburg drops a wrench
Blain drops a cow
Hershey drops a Hershey’s Kiss
Dillsburg drops a pickle
Hummelstown drops a lollipop
Carlisle drops a race car
Lower Allen drops yellow britches
Shippensburg drops an anchor
Cleona drops a pretzel
Lebanon drops a bologna
Palmyra drops a shoe
Harrisburg drops a strawberry
Duncannon drops a sled
Liverpool drops a canal boat
Red Lion drops a lion holding a cigar
York drops a white rose
Lancaster drops a red rose
Elizabethtown drops an M&M
New Bloomfield drops a huckleberry
Manheim drops an orb
Falmouth drops a goat

Plus all of these drops are wrapped up in the small town Americana of a winter street fair.

I personally have attended the wrench drop! Words cannot capture the moment.

Patti and I almost made it to the dropping of the race car in Carlisle before her Multiple Sclerosis fatigue and short term memory chose to wrap up New Year’s Eve.

Jennifer and Tyler have enjoyed evening activities but never made it to the dropping of anything. In the parallel universe of teen autism, I suspect the countdown would interest Tyler but I wonder if he would grasp the phenomena of raising objects high into the sky and lowering them at midnight. … Then again, does anyone really ‘get it’?

This year I awoke to the best New Year’s Eve drop of all, SNOW!!!

While personally thrilled I do realize that snow removal operations usually complicate lowering of our wheelchair accessible van ramp.

Yet to a caregiver, the best of possible New Year’s Eve celebrations is one last challenge to close out the year!

So many choices, so little time.

Caregivingly Yours, Patrick Leer
web site: http://caregivinglyyours.com/
videos: http://www.youtube.com/daddyleer

car talk for caregivers

Is it possible to wear caregiving on your sleeve? I am beginning to wonder if it is not some kind of aura.

Our old faithful 2000 Ford Taurus SE Wagon was declared ‘totaled’ on Christmas Eve following a snowy accident the week before. (stranded in the snow)

Ever since living with Multiple Sclerosis entered our lives vehicle needs are different than most people.

Pulling out my measuring tape tends to derail sales pitches. There must be room for a wheelchair or scooter. While yes we have our Dodge Grand Caravan IMS RampVan (wheelchair van), our second car must be able to serve as a back up.

Patti needs the option to pull herself up on the vehicle’s door frame out of her wheelchair, the strength of door and height of vehicle matter. You may be surprised how many vehicles only have a door bottom with the upper part window glass only.

Dealers often were in the ‘inquiring minds’ mode. Some either had a relative or friend caring for an aging parent or special needs child.

They more than knew the ‘statistics’ of US auto accidents after all it is part of why people need to buy cars. 

The ripple effect of those dependent on that ‘statistic’ is a sobering perspective. Every 12 minutes someone dies, every 14 seconds someone is injured in an auto accident – what happens to those at home dependent on that person?

The majority of car accidents occur less than 5 miles from your home. How many home caregivers roll the dice every day, just quickly running out for something?

To me a 20 yr caregiving veteran, that’s life. I was surprised to see non-caregivers give it thought and concern. Of course, they are sales people and who knows how genuine.

Whatever … after days on the internet and days visiting dealers it was time to park a 2008 Kia Rondo V6 LX in the driveway, kind of a station wagon on steroids.

Caregivingly Yours, Patrick Leer
web site: http://caregivinglyyours.com/
videos: http://www.youtube.com/daddyleer

care facility calendar

Visits and outings are functions of time to those on the outside of a care facility. They may be perceived quite differently to those who reside in a care facility where time often moves at a different pace.

With New Year’s comes an annual focus on calendars. We use oversized wall calendars, 30” high X 20” wide (76cm high X 51cm wide) both in Patti’s room at her care facility and at home in our kitchen.

The calendar in Patti’s room serves double duty allowing visitors to sign in and staff shifts to get a better picture of Patti’s world. Additionally the wall calendar helps to supplement Patti’s Multiple Sclerosis related memory loss.

More importantly to me is that the wall calendar at home dramatically tracks 'care time'. It is too easy to allow day to day life to swallow up your time. When it is in your face every time you enter the kitchen you are less apt to forget to make time for an outing or a visit.

December was a good example. In spite of three snowstorms, holiday shopping, busier work schedule, stranded away from home for two nights following a car accident, and oodles of time associated with that I was still able to average 4 nights per week of outings with Patti and getting her ready for and into bed at her care facility myself. My usual average is 4.5 nights per week.

Believe me that kitchen wall calendar in my face makes the difference time after time. There are so many days when considering my ‘to do’ schedule that I glance at it and realize I must revise my schedule because I MUST work an outing into ‘this day’ to keep my weekly goal.

In the care facility era it is simply too easy to get distracted, you MUST keep ‘care time’ in your face not just your heart and thoughts.

Caregivingly Yours, Patrick Leer
web site: http://caregivinglyyours.com/
videos: http://www.youtube.com/daddyleer

a caregiving Christmas

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas

Just like the ones I used to know

For two decades Christmas and caregiving have been intertwined. With progression of Patti’s Multiple Sclerosis symptoms each year is different. ‘Just like I used to know’ just does not fit.

We are not alone, a third of US household’s awoke to a caregiving Christmas morning.

Just the day before “awakening” had been a popular topic of conversation. Jennifer & Tyler departed to spend Christmas in Massachusetts with family. With living with teen autism on tour, perhaps Santa would bring me a long winter’s sleep. Yet, it is difficult not to reflect on the challenges when the parallel universe of teen autism tries to sync with the holidays and travel.

Patti and I had been reminiscing about Christmas mornings as her long term memory functions far better than short term. How a young daughter found the patience as Patti was less able each year to get up and moving to join her in discovering what Santa had put under the tree. How now in her care facility it takes a team plus lift to get her up, washed, and dressed. Hopefully we would both get a long winter’s sleep.

When out in the kitchen there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Had the Keebler elves gone berserk? We appeared to have been attacked with a nuclear flour bomb. … Our daughter acting as pastry chef had been up all night making different exotic cookies for each relative.

Soon it was dashing through the snow time to pick up Patti and head over to a gathering of her family for a Christmas meal and gift exchange.

Of course obstacles are part of the story as they are for any caregiver or any one with physical or mental challenges. Reality can be such an intrusion when Christmas intertwines dreams and memories.

Somehow you just make it work. We are ALL charged with keeping the eternal heart of childhood alive.

Caregivingly Yours, Patrick Leer
web site: http://caregivinglyyours.com/
videos: http://www.youtube.com/daddyleer

stranded in the snow

Driving home from Washington DC Friday evening (Dec 18) with only the earliest traces of snow beginning to fall, another driver lost control of his car spinning across 4 lanes of traffic ricocheting off a Jersey barricade and ending up crashing onto the front of my car.

Fortunately no one was injured, unfortunately my vehicle was disabled. Towed to the closest hotel I was swallowed by the ‘Blizzard of 2009’ as snow continued to fall for over 24 hrs totaling 22 inches (56 cm).

With daylight I went hiking in zero visibility snowfall in only walking shoes to forage for toiletries, food, and a change of socks and underwear. I discovered a Burger King basically catering to snow plow operators. When is a whopper “haute cuisine”? When it is the only hot meal in 36 hrs.

Stranded you meet people you never would have ever met or shared a warm cup of coffee with. After two nights at a Red Roof Inn I was finally ‘extracted’ Sunday afternoon by Jennifer and Tyler!

Procrastinated shopping and holiday activities are now replaced by insurance related activities and ‘waiting’.

It is oh so easy to be blinded by frustration when there really is so much to be grateful for. Even the driver who crashed into my car called me to apologize and thank me. He had been praying and thanking God for sending me to that moment in time when his car was spinning out of control; so many catastrophic outcomes could have happened.

So far, GEICO representing him could not be trying any harder to make things right. While tempted to declare their gecko as my new BFF, let's see how this plays out, first.

When I finally could spring Patti for an outing from her care facility she was in good spirits and ‘yes, no, maybe’ kind of aware of my odyssey. Multiple Sclerosis memory loss and mental confusion creates its own timeline. Though she was certainly ready to roll decked out in her wheelchair gloves and holiday painted nails.

Caregivingly Yours, Patrick Leer
web site: http://caregivinglyyours.com/
videos: http://www.youtube.com/daddyleer

The Care Jacket

The weather outside is frightful but this offer is so delightful.

Join one of the latest pop-culture phenomena!

The Care Jacket™ keeps you totally warm and gives you the freedom to use your hands!

Perfect for:

• Pushing wheelchairs
• Transferring
• Promoting your favorite care products
• And much, much more

Buy one NOW and get this eclectic caregiver collectable, “The Transfer”, Free!

Watch out Snuggie! WE are 44 million strong in the US and growing.

P.S. All pictured products are figments of this author’s imagination, but “one never knows, do one”?

Caregivingly Yours, Patrick Leer
web site: http://caregivinglyyours.com/
videos: http://www.youtube.com/daddyleer

It's the MOST DANGEROUS time of the year

With those holiday greetings

and gay happy meetings

When friends come to call

It's the MOST DANGEROUS time of the year

“ …dealing with relatives and having to spend more money during the holiday season contribute to your stress level. … fatal heart attacks peak Christmas day and New Year's Day. …”
HOLIDAY STRESS COULD KILL YOU 

“Holiday traditions can drive caregivers and challenged people bonkers … To care, and caregiving can put you on a collision course with ‘tradition’. …”
Tradition! Tradition! 

"Unfortunately along with joy and happiness, the Christmas season is routinely accompanied by a rise in domestic violence … Forrest Smythers sentenced to life plus eight years for fatally shooting his wife after an argument over Christmas lights … ”
LIFE FOR KILLING WIFE OVER XMAS LIGHTS 

Planning to deck the halls with boughs of holly? -- Just don't eat the berries! As few as two berries can cause nausea and vomiting, five berries can cause stupor, and 20 to 30 berries can lead to death. Poinsettias on the other hand are NOT poisonous, though consumption is likely to cause vomiting. … All things considered, vomit bags might make a nice accessory for your vegan guests or pets that prefer to graze on your decorations.

For reasons lost somewhere in the fog of Multiple Sclerosis related cognitive impairment two things can trigger a raving rant by Patti, poinsettias and Velveeta cheese. Throw in short term memory loss and you get a new rant every time Patti sees the poinsettia again. Needless to say … no poinsettias around here.

Actually around here decorations are at more risk than people. Our illuminated Noel candle and toy soldier frequently suffer from ‘shaken plastic illuminated lawn ornament syndrome’ dislodging the lamp inside. In the world of teen autism apparently one greets illuminated ornaments with a frantic variation of a bear hug.

Maybe the Wise Men really were wise that first Christmas, Frankincense for calming, restorative medicinal properties and Myrrh for a strong antiseptic and anti-inflammatory. And then there was gold. Who said money is not an appropriate gift?

Caregivingly Yours, Patrick Leer

web site: http://caregivinglyyours.com/

videos: http://www.youtube.com/daddyleer

wheelchair dance

While visions of sugar-plums dance in everyone’s head this time of year, some special ones work to bring dance, dreams and caring to life.

"One dances in the wheelchair and the other dances near the wheelchair, and spectators marvel at their friendship as well as their moves...."

12 Days of Caring: Girls find the right way to move in wheelchair dance class

"... Katrina Thomas and Kirsten Stewart are 12-year-old best friends from York County who are starting a new dance season in a wheelchair dance class run by Nancy Ehrlich. The class is part of the non-profit PECAN, or Progressive Education of Children in the Arts Network...."

" ... Ehrlich is a lifelong dancer who suffered a spinal injury in 2002. Using her own wheelchair, she started the dance program that is entering its sixth season. ..."

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Caregivingly Yours, Patrick Leer
web site: http://caregivinglyyours.com/
videos: http://www.youtube.com/daddyleer

too busy caregiving for affair with Tiger Woods

Alas, I confess I have never had an affair with Tiger Woods. Though I suspect this entry may get more hits than those simply entitled caregiving, Multiple Sclerosis, or teen Autism.

Thanks to the National Alliance for Caregiving, AARP and MetLife Foundation:

CAREGIVING IN THE USA, 2009 

If the 74 pages do not interest your curiosity they SHOULD and if not now, they WILL.

“More than 3 in 10 US households report that at least one person has served as an unpaid caregiver in the last 12 months, leading to an estimate of 36.5 million households with a caregiver present.”

Even if already a caregiver it gives you an idea how you may be perceived or misperceived.

According to “Caregiving in the USA, 2009”, caregiving lasted on average 4.6 years. Just past my 20th anniversary as a caregiver, obviously I am a horse of a different color. Life long caregiver parents of special needs children who grow up to become special needs adults obviously warrant elite status.

Regardless of distinctions it IS a detailed look into what SHOULD be capturing our attention.

"...the moral test of government is how that government treats those who … are in the shadows of life; the sick, the needy and the handicapped." Hubert H. Humphrey

Caregivingly Yours, Patrick Leer
web site: http://caregivinglyyours.com/
videos: http://www.youtube.com/daddyleer