When the 53 surviving Pilgrims celebrated their
successful harvest in autumn of 1621, I
suspect that even in their wildest imaginations none could ever have foreseen
the future rite of passage for kids and parents known as the school
Thanksgiving play.
Certainly Patti never imagined she would watch seated
in an electric scooter as our daughter played a Pilgrim mother who gave birth
onboard the Mayflower.
Here in the now, this will be the 22nd year
that Thanksgiving is infamously intertwined with the dawn of living with Multiple Sclerosis as a family.
My memories of morning cooking aromas, leaf piles, and the Macy’s Parade on the TV were shattered
looking into the fear in Patti’s eyes as she awoke that morning in 1989 realizing
she could not walk, and could barely see or talk.
Waking up Thanksgiving morning should not be a
watershed moment in one’s life.
Four years earlier Patti had a brief period of
numbness and tingling in some fingers. With symptoms ending sooner than tests, a
diagnosis of “probable” Multiple Sclerosis while devastating in the moment
seemed less probable as time passed.
Years passed, no symptoms returned. Life was
good; homeowners, two jobs, two cars, ‘two cats in the yard’ and a healthy
happy daughter.
Absolutely underprepared for what was happening
that morning, somehow I found Patti’s neurologist’s number and called. Duh! It was
Thanksgiving morning of course he was unavailable. An associate returned my
call, arranging hospital admission.
Simultaneously our 18 month old daughter was
stirring and ready to get up. While I had been as involved, if not more than
involved, for a guy in the late 1980’s I had not been the lead parent much less ever
have juggled parenting and caregiving.
I never felt more alone and overwhelmed.
“Think you can make it, pilgrim?” John Wayne
Caregivingly Yours, Patrick Leer
videos: www.youtube.com/daddyleer
What Thanksgiving was for you, Christmas was for me.
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I think it is absolutely amazing that you have weathered the storms of this disease the way you have; as in, you're not shell-shocked into muteness. Keep telling us your stories.
I have no words, Patrick. I can't imagine the shock and horror of it all through the years and the unexpectedness of it. I think Judy said it so very well that it is amazing (absolutely) that you have weathered the storms and you also provided sunshine for Patti in making her life as productive and meaningful as it can be over the years.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I have to say though. I don't think of any Pilgrim play I have ever known of a character that was portrayed as a mom giving birth on the Mayflower. While I'm sure it happened, interesting twist to the traditional Pilgrim story we hear.
All in all, I'm thinking you will still have some thankfuls this coming Thanksgiving. May it be a happy one for you all!
betty
Being single, I sometimes feel very overwhelmed and alone trying to manage things especially on days when I know I'm not clear. But I always am grateful that it's just me and I don't have kids to worry about too.
ReplyDeleteNot only have you made it, but you done good Pilgrim.
Betty, yes I too learned something new from that school Thanksgiving play. :) The child born on the Mayflower was named Oceanus Hopkins, mother Elizabeth (Fisher) Hopkins.
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine how that would feel. I am glad I had no kids when my EX walked out. If I had kids to raise, OMG I would be flipping out.
ReplyDeleteWow that must have been completely devastating! Most MS diagnoses come about very gradually, I think - as did ours with Don. And the impact on your life with a young family -- unimaginable! My heart goes out to you.
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