Monday, June 16, 2008

caregiving: ch-ch-changes


(Turn and face the strain)


Just gonna have to be a different man”

David Bowie “Changes”


A 40 yr old parent caregiver of a special needs child challenges himself against people half his age for a better job. Everything and anything to ‘provide’ for a family that will need more.


A 50+ yr old single parent caregiver of a special needs child prepares to uproot their lives and move 400+ miles for a chance for a better home.


“I watch the ripples change their size

... But still the days seem the same



(Turn and face the strain)


Pretty soon you're gonna get a little older”


A 70+ yr caregiver takes a respite trip, suffers a seizure … diagnosis brain cancer. At home wait a 90+ yr old Mom, and a spouse challenged with diabetes and more.


An 80+ yr old caregiver fighting against all odds to keep her spouse with Alzheimer’s at home in spite of her own emphysema now fights her own diagnosis of lung cancer.


“Time may change me

But I can't trace time”


All four of these caregivers are real people, in fact family, an in-law, and a close friend. Father’s Day 2008 involved contact or conversations. 11 years ago on Father’s Day weekend, my own father died of pancreatic cancer after almost 10 years as my Mother’s caregiver. This is my 18th Father's Day juggling the hats of basically single parent and MS spouse caregiver. 


In my world there just seems to be some caregiving vortex around Father’s Day. I am always left humbled and in awe.


“I said that time may change me

But I can't trace time”


Caregivingly Yours, J Patrick Leer 





(also available in Blogger edition, Caregiver Blog: "Caregivingly Yours")


  1. Happy Father's Day, Patrick; I'm sorry it is a holiday associated with sadness; hoping by the time, years in the future, when it is Happy Father's Day, Grandpa, this time of year won't always be associated with a painful event


  2. As deep as this post is, I can't help but enjoy hearing Bowie's song again, it evokes such memories.  BTW when I first heard it I was sure he was saying "Turn and face the strange" lol yikes.  You know how he laughs a bit and smiles when singing "pretty soon yer gonna yet a little older"?  I always felt Bowie was at least a few years ahead at any given moment.  Happiest Fathers Day!  xo CATHY

  3. It just seems to never end. The 50+ with the child is very brave to uproot and move that far. I'm sure it will be difficult, but so worth it in the end! Kudos to them and to the ones waiting to help!


  4. hope you had a wonderful Fathers Day:)



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