Sunday, October 19, 2008

Obsessed with caregiving?

from Mothering Mother and More ...

"How do you know if you’re obsessed with caregiving?

  • Your caregiving duties continue to increase–more baths, more attention to detail.
  • You tell yourself it’s necessary, but others seem to question you.
  • You are an expert in your loved one’s illness but are ignoring your own body’s warning signs.
  • You haven’t taken a day off in months.
  • Your other relationships are dwindling.
  • You feel as if you have nothing in common with the outside world.
  • You constantly think, “they don’t understand.”
  • You take a deep sense of pride when someone says you’re a great daughter/son/caregiver–and you actually try to create situations (subconsciously) where someone would be prompted to say this.
  • You never sit down because there’s always something to do.
  • You’re getting less than 5-6 hours sleep a night on a regular basis.
  • You fear when your loved one dies and almost feel frantic at the thought of wide open days with no one to pick up after, watch, feed, or medicate.

I know, this just sounds like normal caregiving!" Carol O'Dell

While I get the author's point, I would contend that 'obsession' is not even an option in many caregiving situations.

Dependency increases with progression for people in need of care. When it comes to caring for someone besides yourself maybe the world needs a little more 'obsession'?

Caregivingly Yours, Patrick Leer

1 comment:

  1. I can see her point about obsession, but like you said, in some cases it is reality for a lot of caregivers, I would think the only one of those in her list that might border on obsession would be worrying about what your days would be like not caregiving after the loved one passes on; otherwise the rest seems like a normal part of caregiving (if normal and caregiving can be used in the same sentence since every single situation is different); very interesting observations from her though

    got to say Patrick, I know caregiving is hard and challenging, but you really do it well, maybe its something you've learned and adapted over the years to, I'm sure there are lots of more challenges you don't even mention and a lot more frustrations we will never know about. My FIL is caregiving my MIL and although its been just a little over a year where she's really taken a decline in mental alertness, physical capacity, he is having a very difficult time with it; and you've been doing it for MANY years; you are doing a great job at it; I know its hard.

    take care of yourself,



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