Thursday, July 21, 2011

remember when you remembered

July 20, 1985 it was 93°F (34°C) under sunny skies, ours was an unconventional wedding with outdoor ceremony followed by picnic reception - BYOCC (bring your own change of clothes)

26 years later it was 95°F (35°C) and well I guess we are still ‘unconventional’. Multiple Sclerosis has left only one of us still able to change their own clothes and only one can still remember.

26 years ago we specifically DID NOT promise to “love and honor … in sickness and in health, until death do us part.”

If you are trying to read anything into our story about vows and 21+ years of MS spouse caregiving - fugetaboutit.

We DID promise to “Love one another, but make not a bond of love.”

Maybe the story is best told through a wedding gift.

Largest on the gift table it was also the most baffling upon opening – a giant mixing bowl, 14” (35.5 cm) in diameter, 7” (17.8 cm) high it holds 9 quarts (8.5 l) and weighs about 8 lbs (3.6 kg).

Though 26 years later through Google, I now know it is a McCoy Stone Craft Pink & Blue Mixing Bowl #14 and to some a collectible though to us it remains just our ‘big bowl’.

People into symbolism will tell you a bowl is a symbol of nourishment, emptied and refilled over and over throughout life.

A big bowl is where a family works their practical magic, transforming ingredients into cookies, cakes, meat loaf, salads, etc.

More than ingredients also goes life; the good, the bad, and the ugly, laughs and sadness, hopes and fears, dreams and challenges. In that apparently empty bowl is the beneficence that turns people into family.

related entry: 25th wedding anniversary
Caregivingly Yours, Patrick Leer 
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  1. Peace Be With You

    Stunning post. Congratulations on your anniversary.


  2. a day late (okay actually two days late because it is now Friday where you are at), but wishing you and Patti a Happy Anniversary! It just seems like you were writing about your 25th anniversary; where has the year gone? I do remember reading about your unconventional marriage and seeing the pictures you had posted in the past. I'm sure it was a very special time. You know, I think you described it very well using the analogy of the bowl to describe life and family. I know I wrote on my 30th anniversary post last October that if I had known everything we would have gone through when we got married, I would have run and ran far and not gotten married. But life doesn't work that way. It unravels daily, as you described it. All get thrown in together, the good, the bad, the happy, the sad, the tears, the laughter, the joys, the tragedies, etc. And at the end of the day, the word family is what holds us together.

    I hope you guys did something great to celebrate and it was outside of that heat!!


  3. Congratulations to you and Patti! This was a beautiful post!

  4. Thank you all for your kind wishes and thoughts!

    Caregivingly Yours, Patrick


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