Monday, November 19, 2012
ill spouse vs well spouse
Any time I ever try to explain this concept to Patti I find myself slipping into some mutation of “I is the IS and you is the WS as you are me and we are all together … I am the walrus, goo goo g'joob.” We just end up laughing and by then her Multiple Sclerosis dementia related symptoms have erased the conversation and we can simply start over again … or not.
multiple sclerosis caregiving care giving social media
Among the technologically too cool of modern social media, IS = ill spouse and WS = well spouse. Obviously we are out of sync perhaps that is because our story began in the last Century.
Caregiving was consequential when it began for me. Former First Lady Rosalynn Carter was about the only person making noise. And frankly some stigmas were making my life harder. Multiple Sclerosis was, and is, portrayed as mild. Anyone successfully juggling both caregiving for a spouse and basically single parenting had to be a woman.
Oh yeah and this thing you are using to read this was not around. We went to our neighborhood library for information.
I can still remember the first time years later that I discovered someone like me out there in this mysterious place called the Internet.
Today when I cruise by ‘on line’ support groups or pages they seem so adversarial to me, more about WS vs IS.
It’s OK to not like caregiving moments, Lord knows I get that. Maybe it’s about too much access too soon. I know for me if I pause to take a deep breath then what I have to say comes out different.
Bottom line it’s always been about choice. Patti did not choose to be severely disabled with MS. I chose to give care.
If advice from an old dude is even germane anymore … as insane as caregiving moments have driven me over the decades, I have always tried to remember it is the MS I hate not the IS.
Caregivingly Yours, MS Caregiver @ http://caregivinglyyours.blogspot.com/
My Lung Cancer Odyssey @ http://lung-cancer-survivor.blogspot.com/
- ► 2013 (65)
- ▼ November (7)
- ► 2011 (106)
- ► 2010 (114)
- ► 2009 (93)
- ► 2008 (127)
- ► 2007 (131)
- ► 2006 (153)
- ► 2005 (152)