As a caregiver spouse Valentine’s Day is at best a one sided
exercise. Yet marketing drives society and well look around the
annual emotional ‘carpet bombing’ has begun.
Progression of Multiple Sclerosis symptoms both physical and
cognitive long ago eliminated ever receiving any Valentine’s Day gift, gesture
or even remembrance. It’s such a
‘healthy couple only’ media blitz it only leaves me feeling more isolated and
alone than usual. The caregiver perspective is expressed well in “Valentine's Day - Fleeting Fluff” by Terri Corcoran.
Maybe it always was illusion? As a college student I double dated
with a friend on Valentine’s Day. Splurging on the memorable kind of restaurant
it seemed a night and place framed for romantic love. Until my buddy decided to
seize the moment to announce he was breaking up with his girlfriend.
Also long ago in my years on the road I knew someone who falling
head over heels in love with a woman drove hours with that seething passion and
imagination of romantics to surprise her and ask her to “be mine” forever on
Valentine’s Day. She instead surprised him, having settled down with her ‘true
love’ and asked him to leave her alone before he ever opened his mouth.
Maybe romantic love isn’t an illusion but a delusion?
Valentine’s Day also is not really even a holiday. Companies,
schools, and governments go about business as usual. My Mom’s body was cremated
on Feb 14th. There’s a figurative coffin nail in Valentine’s Day
memories.
In all fairness there are some good memories. My Aunt and Uncle
were married on Valentine’s Day. They celebrated over 60 wedding anniversaries
on Valentine’s Day before death interupted the romance.
For almost two decades I’ve been involved with a Special Olympics
Valentine’s dance for high school age special needs students unlikely to experience
traditional school dances. no diagnosis on the dance floor
And for whatever reason snow storms and blizzards enjoy visiting
around Valentine’s Day and I could not be happier. Snow is nature’s “hug me”!
Caregivingly Yours, Patrick Leer
videos: www.youtube.com/daddyleer