Friday, February 10, 2012
Valentine’s Day Memories: good, bad, and ugly
As a caregiver spouse Valentine’s Day is at best a one sided exercise. Yet marketing drives society and well look around the annual emotional ‘carpet bombing’ has begun.
Progression of Multiple Sclerosis symptoms both physical and cognitive long ago eliminated ever receiving any Valentine’s Day gift, gesture or even remembrance. It’s such a ‘healthy couple only’ media blitz it only leaves me feeling more isolated and alone than usual. The caregiver perspective is expressed well in “Valentine's Day - Fleeting Fluff” by Terri Corcoran.
Maybe it always was illusion? As a college student I double dated with a friend on Valentine’s Day. Splurging on the memorable kind of restaurant it seemed a night and place framed for romantic love. Until my buddy decided to seize the moment to announce he was breaking up with his girlfriend.
Also long ago in my years on the road I knew someone who falling head over heels in love with a woman drove hours with that seething passion and imagination of romantics to surprise her and ask her to “be mine” forever on Valentine’s Day. She instead surprised him, having settled down with her ‘true love’ and asked him to leave her alone before he ever opened his mouth.
Maybe romantic love isn’t an illusion but a delusion?
Valentine’s Day also is not really even a holiday. Companies, schools, and governments go about business as usual. My Mom’s body was cremated on Feb 14th. There’s a figurative coffin nail in Valentine’s Day memories.
In all fairness there are some good memories. My Aunt and Uncle were married on Valentine’s Day. They celebrated over 60 wedding anniversaries on Valentine’s Day before death interupted the romance.
For almost two decades I’ve been involved with a Special Olympics Valentine’s dance for high school age special needs students unlikely to experience traditional school dances. no diagnosis on the dance floor
And for whatever reason snow storms and blizzards enjoy visiting around Valentine’s Day and I could not be happier. Snow is nature’s “hug me”!
Caregivingly Yours, Patrick Leer
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