Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Caregiving Metaphysics "Previously Yours,"

Dreams left on a shelf don’t get any easier to dust off as life goes on. The job of caregiver comes with no warning. If you “feel” you have unfinished business or emptiness it is more difficult to embrace.

A caregiver’s past experiences, I believe, can help their success. I know in “our story” that has been true. This requires me to briefly pull back a curtain. Memories can be distracting. Yet at the same time I am the sum of all my experiences.

Yes, that is a younger Bob Dylan and a younger me on the right end in this 1975 backstage tour photo.

Beginning in the 70’s, I was blessed with 10+ years of rock n’ roll adventure. Seizing an opportunity as an ‘advance man’ for Dylan’s Rolling Thunder Revue tour I would eventually have the pleasure of working in road and tour management with Geoff Muldaur, Sclarlett Rivera, Blondie, Hall & Oates, the Isley Brothers, Kool & the Gang, Tim Curry, and Diana Ross. For over a decade ‘the road’ including all 50 States, Europe, Japan, and Australia would be home for both work and play.

I learned extraordinarily unusual skills and experiences about managing the unmanageable. The daily challenges of moving people and things through time and space that do not want to move and do not fit – in retrospect prepared me.

While never a “butcher, or baker, or candlestick maker”, I have also been a college administrator, managed a country western saloon and a movie cineplex, and mobile deejay entertainer.

Over the decades I am always impressed with the diversity of caregiver backgrounds. That makes sense because every caregiving situation is unique and “to care” demands a more holistic approach than to treat.

In ‘our story’ my past also helped to all but eliminate “What about me?” from the daily choice of to be or not to be a caregiver.

Unless you are psychic you can’t really prepare your life experiences to be a home caregiver. … You can control ‘unfinished business’ whether caregiving is in your future or not. Get dreams off the shelf. Tomorrow is never guaranteed for anyone.

P.S. I have to smile looking back at the 80's "hair" in this passport visa.


  1. How cool was your past? VERY!  I do believe certain pasts can help caregivers but certain personalities can check out, which saddens me.  You have an amazing spirit and love that gives me great hope.  I wish I could clone you for some of my ALS friends.


  2. I'm enjoying this series immensely--I love the pics that accompany it!

  3. ..interesting past careers, dreams do seem to get pushed to the back of the shelf and covered with dust!    But then those dreams were just that and what we do  now is real. Perhaps it is best to build new dreams that can mesh and fit in with the caregiving we do.

  4. You've had a full life and still do.  The memories you must have.  I remember those 80s looks.  I hope to have as long and a healthy relationship as the bond you and Patti share.  I am always uplifted and flattered when you stop in my journal.  I've had two new people visit today because of you.  I love meeting new people.  Thank you!
    Your friend,

  5. I think you are a "fox"!  And good on the inside too.  The whole package!

  6. What a life you have led. Did you meet Patti during your Rock n Roll adventure years? Did she fall in love with a rock n roll musician and did she travel with you around the country? She looks quite cute in the video photos in the following entry... so glad you drew back the curtain of memories and shared this "secret" life with us. I didn't know about it. I guess we don't think about what a caregiver gives up when they transition into their new roles. The life changed. The dreams put on the shelf. I had not thought about it. I suppose I thought one slides into the new life gradually, with no turning back, but I can see that even though one cannot turn back, one can look back. It must seem cruel at times, yet sweet, when one recognizes what was given up, and what one has gained. You have done a very good thing in this world, in your life. The Lord would say, "Well done, good and faithful servant." Bea


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