Monday, June 21, 2010

Father's Day: to memories and beyond

Ah yes, Father’s Day. Hard to forget Father’s Day weekend 13 years ago. Watching, holding, sharing my own father’s dying hours of pancreatic cancer through the longest night. The time of angels jumbled with a lifetime of memories.  

Multiple Sclerosis turned our family dynamics and roles topsy turvey. Never have found the proper father label. Caregiving and parenting had to coexist. Certainly won’t figure it out today.

An 11th hour change in our daughter’s work schedule changes family plans. How many times has that happened in my own life? Odd to be the receiver instead of the changer.

Though dependent Patti is still a daughter and needs to share her own Dad’s Father’s Day celebration. Securing her into our wheelchair accessible van, she remarks “Why are the birds making so much f#cking noise?” Several MS symptoms involved here but I admit I enjoy a laugh at her perspective on the day.

By default we end up splitting the day between MS time and well family time as we have sooo many times before. Patti returns to a desired and deserved nap.

Later our daughter offers to take and treat me to Toy Story 3 since when she was a kid I took her to the first Toy Story.

Reminiscing, MS took Patti out of the physical side of parenting that was cruel. Yet the world I stepped into was beyond cool.

Learning to play with Barbies. Learning to ice skate in my 40’s to keep up with our daughter. Being the only Dad in ‘Mom and Me’ classes for gym, swimming, and dance. Playing board games like “Pretty Pretty Princess”. ‘N Sync, Spice Girls, Pokemon …

Then it is circle of life time. When I took Megan to see the original Toy Story I paid adult and she was a discounted child ticket. As our daughter pays for Toy Story 3 tickets she pays adult and I am the discounted senior citizen ticket. … I will NOT go quietly!

Challenging and barely defeating Megan in an air hockey game in the arcade I order a large Buzz Blast drink from the concession stand. To infinity, and beyond!

Caregivingly Yours, Patrick Leer
musings: patrick ponders 


  1. Please go to my blog post from
    Sunday, June 20, 2010
    and collect your
    You Are Beautiful Blogger Award.
    "A Beautiful Blogger is someone who blogs with truth, honesty and integrity. They blog from their heart, sharing their story, humor, and life with others. They go out of their way to support others, giving of themselves to provide encouragement and brighten someone’s day. They glow with a beauty that comes from within, and it shows in what they write and how they interact with others."


  2. Happy (belated) Father's Day Patrick. I guess you did come full circle from adult to senior citizen, that must have been a shock, how did that happen? when did we get old?? It is hard to balance these holidays even with the 'able' to fit all in who want to do this and that to celebrate him or her or whatever. We only have one father left among us and one husband/dad and still had to do a part of the celebration Friday night with son honoring dad (primarily because said son wanted to spend weekend with girlfriend, LOL)

    I think you celebrated it great and you certainly do re-define the father's role in a household (ice skating in your 40s, that would have done me in)


  3. HAHAHA! Love the full circle comment. Reminds me of the "Lion King" movie for some reason. It was my son's favorite movie when he was a kid. =)

    Plus when we went to IHOP I made a point of ordering from the Senior Citizen's menu (only for those over 55!) and was kinda offended (LOL!) when I didn't get carded! Did that because my late daughter said when I turned 55 she was going to take me to IHOP and make me I did that on Father's Day in her memory. =)


Blog Archive