Friday, September 23, 2011
reflections on Pat Robertson’s remarks
“Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it just hurts instead” (‘Someone Like You’ by Adele)
While Pat Robertson certainly kicked a hornet’s nest with his recent remarks about divorce and caregiving, hopefully when the buzzing settles down more people than before will have given some thought to the challenges of long term spousal caregiving.
Robertson was specifically discussing one person’s situation of Alzheimer’s caregiving, yet other chronic illnesses and/or disabilities, including Multiple Sclerosis take a toll on relationships. d-i-v-o-r-c-e multiple sclerosis
What caught my attention was Robertson’s caution that the divorcing spouse would have to ensure custodial care and somebody looking after their wife or husband.
The spouse caregiver should have a plan ensuring continuing custodial care and somebody to look after their wife or husband NOW, if not already. What’s divorce got to do with it? I’d bet that far more people are left without somebody looking after them due to overwhelmed caregiver plans than divorce. Yet where’s the buzz or better yet the help with this concern?
Considering oneself the ‘well’ spouse or ‘able bodied’ spouse is always a touch delusional. Statistically the caregiver life span will be shorter and unquestionably abilities and resources will only decline. Butterfly effect MS caregiving
A care plan based on the assumption of immortality and invincibility is risky. Or as Dr. Phil might ask Achilles, how’s that working for you?
Even though Robertson certainly also pushed the hot buttons of companionship, love, religion and intimacy, IMHO he concluded wisely “… the last thing I would do is condemn you for taking that kind of action.”
20 some years ago I remember typing onto a Prodigy ‘bulletin board’ that I would never judge another spouse caregiver.
This planet is too full of people judging people and not enough caring.
Caregivingly Yours, Patrick Leervideos: www.youtube.com/daddyleer
web site: caregivinglyyours.com
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