Wednesday, April 28, 2004

Money makes the world go 'round

“Money, money, money makes the world go ‘round.” Nowhere is that MORE true than in caregiving. The conventional wisdom of financial planning or just happily living a two income life is turned upside down when MS changes family dynamics like an earthquake.


As the years ticked by we grew to be happy with a goal of zero net loss in a year before that too had to adapt to a controlled depletion of savings.


My own time to earn money became restricted as Patti’s dependency increased. Full time obviously had to become part time. Then the juggling act to get some one to watch Patti while I tried to work began to occupy increasing time.


Family, friends, and neighbors can be great for a while. 15 years is not ‘a while’. Our culture is somewhat founded in ‘get better or die’. Long progressive disease is an enigma.


Insurance, medical support and assistance is skewed against homecare.


Divorce is an option at least for the well spouse. It just wasn’t an option I found acceptable for me.


Moral and philosophical issues aside in caregiving I found myself in a black hole sucking in money, assets, and the future. I can certainly understand the well spouses who do walk away, as I can try to understand the disabled spouses who have to add the concern of abandonment.


Some days it is hard to breathe. Yet as the well spouse you have choice. I had to keep looking for something to try.

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