Monday, July 02, 2012

script writer caregiving

As a spouse caregiver of a quarter century, I find myself jumping up out of my chair sometimes over the fictional portrayal that romanticizes the choice of caregiving.

There is nothing romantic about spousal caregiving. Nor should anyone be demonized for not wanting the challenge.

But what do I know; I’m not making the big bucks writing what millions ‘want to’ see and believe. I just try to live it. 

A blog I enjoy, Kaleidoscope Muff, wrote recently that watching the closing minutes of Rizzoli and Isles ‘Welcome to the Dollhouse’ episode on Turner Network Television (TNT) last week she was “reminded how I feel sometimes. I see that look of pity on someone’s face, and I want to smack them”.

Curiously I had seen the same closing scene and saw it totally differently (good writers craft scenes to play to all audiences) I saw a lack of willingness on the part of the injured veteran to trust Rizzoli to care and support. Rather than pity I saw Rizzoli (as possible caregiver spouse) hurt by the lack of trust by her friend and lover.

Then in yet another blog I enjoy, A Bench With A View, I found a book review of 'Travelers Rest' by Ann Tatlock another story involving a character returning injured from war and another character “determined to honor her commitment”.

I just pray the real women and men returning from war with injuries and their families and friends are not being trivialized and stereotyped by what readers or viewers ‘want to see’.   

Here in the real world …

With Friday afternoon temperatures of 99°F (37.7°FC) and a heat index 109.9°F (43.3°C) or beyond ‘MS unfriendly’ levels sometimes escaping into fiction plus real air conditioning actually can be the best of possible worlds.

Decades ago before Multiple Sclerosis Patti enjoyed watching the original Dallas on Friday evenings. ‘Dallas 2012’ airs nowadays after her MS bedtime but through Verizon FIOS TV ‘on demand’ we can control time.

JR Ewing (still portrayed by Larry Hagman) using his long term care facility room to plot revenge for control of Southfork  … priceless!!! 

Caregivingly Yours, Patrick Leer 


  1. LOL where JR is at! I knew Dallas was back on, but hadn't caught any of the shows yet. Well at least he's not bedding women and pretending to be young and fit :)

    Thanks for the shout out, Patrick. You really did bring up a great point in the comment you left. They do romanticize care giving sometimes and you know it is nothing that has a fairy tell ending. Honestly, I'm not sure what my commitment would be pre marriage but engaged. Post marriage would be a hard one too, especially after so many are a testimony to keeping one's integrity and vows and being there no matter what!


    1. Glad to mention the blogs I read. Thanks again for the book review as I said I just pray the real injured warriors and their families are not being exploited in this rush of fiction


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