Friday, August 12, 2005

TO CARE? or, TO CONTROL? that is the question …

Patti's MS symptoms impair reasoning and cognitive process. As a CARER you obviously approach an ethical TO CARE or TO CONTROL line when planning and engaged in activities. No easy answers here, it’s just intuitive.


Over the last week or so, we’ve had Patti out multiple times for movies, home for dinner, and a cook out at her parents. Patti enjoys getting out. I believe it is good for her to be involved. Some outings she remembers more than others.


It is also August in South Central Pennsylvania, which means “hot and humid”. MS does not respond well to such conditions. It often hits Patti like a wall and within minutes she is noticeably affected until cooled down by AC.


Throw in MS symptoms of Emotional lability and Pseudobulbar affect which complicate Patti’s ability to respond appropriately and you have a potential formula for disaster.


Patti may ‘hear’ this litany of obstacles,appear to think about it, and then excitedly ask “When are we leaving?” <grin> So then the question becomes, TO CARE? or TO CONTROL?


In our case simultaneously I'm single parenting a now 17 year old daughter, the reverse is true. <grin> TO CONTROL? or TO CARE? Here I have to learn to let her think for herself. To support her decision making, TO CARE, to relinquish control.


Patti ignores (well, actually forgets) her litany of challenges, Megan looks for more challenge. CONTROL would be easier.


I'm so confused some days I don't even know who I am! <grin>


So what does the picture have to do with anything?. Returning to my van yesterday I was in one of those totally LOST moments when my eyes slapped my brain to focus. I was standing and parked on the number 42! In the science fiction of Douglas Adams, the number 42 is the answer to "Life, the Universe, and Everything!" .... (Random chance of parking? or Omen?)

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