Monday, October 22, 2007

Caregiving: across the cognitive universe

Across the cognitive universe from the previous FiOS entry to Patti’s world, I was greeted by “Thank God you’re here. I was so bored!” when I picked her up from her care facility for dinner and an evening at home tonight.


Yes, such a greeting tugs at the heart strings. Second guessing yourself never ends.


I have learned, however, to take the time to discover what “really” has been happening in her day because her greeting though poignant is a 'knee jerk' verbal response.


For example, Patti’s afternoon hours today had been occupied with bowling, Texas hold-em poker, a visit from her parents and trivia pursuit game, and some activity called parachute popcorn. Yet Patti could remember nothing.


Memory loss can create a different kind of boredom. You can occupy Patti non-stop but if she cannot remember it then is she, or is she not bored?


It is the kind of question that borders on the proverbial query, does a tree make a sound if it falls in the forest and no one hears it. Except Patti is not ‘rhetorical’.


Living with Multiple Sclerosis as a family, it is not unusual on any given day to find ourselves drifting across the cognitive universe.


Caregivingly Yours, Patrick Leer


  1. to her she is bored, and you are her knight in shining armor:) its tough and thank you for sharing


  2. While I was reading your entry, the chicken/egg, (which comes first?) popped into my head just before I read your tree/fall/sound! Must be the north and south versions! <grin>

    Of course, my guess is that Patti knows she will have a wonderful time when she is with you! Does she remember living in the house?  I know it is probably a strange question, but she has been at the care facility for some time now.

    Have a great Tuesday!

  3. There's a tiny bit of bittersweetness in that kind of thing.  It must be the same kind of feeling you get when being ignored, a sadness.........but she has full days, no-one can fault the trying of it :)

    Stunned!! at your car. I'd have fainted being faced with a Trooper from sheer confusion.  Am glad it was only metal that got hurt but!! that metal is a trusty friend so I hope they get em :) Rache

  4. (((((((((((((((((HUGSTOYOU))))))))))))))))))Just stoped by to say hello and have a nice day.


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