Wednesday, March 25, 2009

"What's up with anal probing?"

For me, anal probing and alien abduction have always associated; however since the month of March is National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month I will step forward - I was recently probed.

Not by aliens, I believe, but then again I slept through the whole experience so who knows.

Harassed for years at my annual physical to get a colonoscopy I had successfully dodged, delayed, and canceled all previous attempts.

Omens were not good as I followed my instructions and went looking for Fleet Phospho-Soda. Fleet had recalled the product, something about lawyers and renal failure.

Plan B was NuLytely, a gallon jug with powder in it and some flavor packets. You chug a glass wait a couple minutes and chug some more, brought back memories of old college drinking games.

Eventually after hours on the commode, I found myself debating the definition of a clear stool with the jug, not unlike Tom Hanks talking to his volleyball Wilson in “Cast Away”.

ANYTHING and EVERYTHING else was easy.

I weighed about 5 lbs less. Walking around with my extremely clean butt hanging out of the backless gown was somewhat exhilarating.

I remember chatting with the anesthesiologist and then I remember waking up. From the time I arrived to walking away was under 90 minutes and most of that was waiting and sleeping. My proctologist swore to me that I had a colonoscopy and everything was just fine.

Patti endured a colonoscopy a couple years earlier, a monumental caregiving challenge when non-ambulatory and both bowel and bladder incontinent due to Multiple Sclerosis. Without the assistance of her Mom and cousin (a former care facility worker) I cannot even imagine how her prep could have been possible or safe.

She too passed with flying colors.

Considering this all costs a couple thousand dollars and with 40%+ of Americans without medical insurance, this whole Colorectal Cancer campaign may be approaching a moot point with our failing US health care system.

Or worse:
“Thousands of veterans … may have been exposed to hepatitis and HIV because of contaminated equipment after getting colonoscopies …”
Possible contamination at VA facilities sparks call for inquiry

Caregivingly Yours, Patrick Leer
web site:
musings: Patrick Ponders ...


  1. I had to have one once during a cancer scare. Thank goodness I don't remember it, don't plan to repeat it either, LOL.

  2. great news that you passed with flying colors; I'm at that age where they are starting to talk about it........



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