Monday, October 10, 2011
cruel and unusual SOMETHING
Googling, I stumbled upon “a collection of essays about the well spouse experience and what I believe society should do about it” by Marion Cohen.
“Cruel and Unusual” (2005) is an unpublished book she “decided to make freely available”. You need only Adobe Reader, or other application capable of reading PDF files.
Not only does it provide insight to home caregiving but transition to the care facility era over her 26 years as a Multiple Sclerosis caregiver.
Time is everything for a caregiver / carer, and at 89 pages, “Cruel and Unusual” does not take a ‘War and Peace’ commitment of time to read yet on the other hand raises enough questions, shared experiences and food for thought about caregiving in our society to fill volumes.
Some chapter headings (in her own words):
WHAT CAREGIVERS DO (a kind of Care Giving 101, especially for those who don’t already know)
SUGAR-COATERS AND OTHER NON-SOLUTIONS (such as referring to the patient as “the loved one”)
NOT EVEN VOLUNTEERS (the plight and feelings of family members of nursing home residents)
THE SEX WORKSHOP (how some well spouses are seeking love and life elsewhere -- the joys and limitations of that)
… also it’s an intriguing peak inside the early years of the Well Spouse Association.
For veteran long term MS caregivers it may read like a visiting preacher preaching to the choir, but for ‘others’ out there unfamiliar with the details and stresses of long term care, “Cruel and Unusual” could be the proverbial whack upside the head - “The conspiracy of silence leads, or is tantamount to, cruel and unusual SOMETHING”.
Caregivingly Yours, Patrick Leervideos: www.youtube.com/daddyleer
web site: caregivinglyyours.com
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