Friday, March 03, 2006

Caregiving: lost in translation

      As a caregiver I may feel frustration over something, while Patti’s MS cognitive symptoms can put her on an opposite track over the same concern. It makes communication and resolving an issue so complicated. And of course, the opposite can just as easily be true.

      Because I have no medically diagnosed cognitive symptoms, I assume my perspective is the correct one. <grin> Which only confounds any attempt to talk through something.

     Somewhat like having a conversation with yourself but somehow something gets lost in translation. <grin>

     Before MS took Patti out of the work place, she was a buyer for a paper company eventually aquired by International Paper. She handled all negotiable family purchases such as cars and houses. As recently as 4 years ago, though no longer quick, she was still a valuable consultant and we could work as a team.     

     Shopping for a wheelchair accessible van has hammered home to me how much cognitive and reasoning deterioration has occurred in ways no medical test could evaluate.

     In a relationship, the caregiver acquires by default whatever skills the other person brought to the relationship as they slip into dependency. You don’t always see that coming.


  1. I am so sorry Patti has lost those skills, now i know i am new to this journal how long has she had MS and does she still live at home? Just wondering you don't have to answer


  2. bet it catches you by surprise when you realize it because I'm sure it was gradually coming on but perhaps you didn't see it until this one big wham.


  3. Your observations of Patti's deterioration over the last four years are poignant, yet written with a matter of factness that comes from a determination to take care of her with all the love you promised to her long ago. I want your resolve and strength, Patrick, when it comes my turn to take care of my husband, should he become dependent on me. bea


Blog Archive