From the Caregiver’s Home Companion:
“The holidays are such a time of joy for many people. That joy is greatest when the people around us are healthy and like their lives and future. But for the rest of us in caregiving roles, the holidays can be a time of great frustration -- our loved one is ill. …
If your loved one is in an assisted living facility or nursing home, what will work the best for them?
§ If you take them to a family gathering or to your home, will it be too stressful for them? You might want to look at how they handle it when you take them out at other times of the year. If it has been too stressful, then don’t take them out now.
§ If you don’t take them out, arrange for family and friends to visit. You might want to have people visit on a schedule on one certain day. You also need to decide how many people should visit at one time, or in one day. Think back over the year. How did they react in both situations? Use the past (especially the recent past) as a guideline for the present...."
RECENT visits home or to her parents’ home have ended up negative for Patti. Transferring and confusion, I believe are catalysts in these experiences.
We ARE planning to bring Patti home for Christmas. My hope to improve the odds is to bring her home Christmas Eve so by Christmas Day she will BE in the same environment without transferring. At our house we have the facilities for changing and bathing a wheelchair confined person and Patti can nap at her convenience. I am taking on the jobs of three shifts of staff but I have done that and am comfortable I can do it again.
Christmas Day will be a NO TRANSFER / NO CHANGE IN SURROUNDINGS DAY. Family and friends that want to spend any Christmas Day time with Patti can visit with her at her home. Too much progression has occurred over a year and too much volatility in symptoms in recent visits makes it impractical and unfair to haul Patti around for the convenience of able bodied people. I think Christmas will be better at home than at the care facility, of course I am guilty of imposing my own able bodied and able minded thinking on the holiday. My only defense is that Lord knows it is NOT for my own convenience. <grin>
I am so glad that I found your journal. You have so much to offer. --hope-- I know that someday I will be in your position. I have had a small taste of it already. You show so much kindness and love for your wife. In my opinion, the wishes and conveniences of able bodied people (mine included) come way, way behind what is good for my loved one.
ReplyDeleteHOPE YOUR DAY IS LOVELY AND ALL IS WORTH THE EFFORT! analeighia aka Chicken-foot
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