Periodically I must stress that caregiving is about enduring frustration.
Caregivng: enduring frustration
Not every convergence of cerebral symptoms results in a lighthearted anecdote. As the caregiver I’m rolling the dice with every outing.
Progression of cerebral symptoms whether they are related to Multiple Sclerosis, Dementia, Alzheimer’s, or any other chronic illness unquestionably impact the caregiver, family, and friends.
In “The Raven”, Edgar Allan Poe’s masterpiece of self-tortured loss he concludes:
“And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted---nevermore!”
I believe ol’ Edgar might have creeped me out as a caregiver yet his gift for words captures that emotional shadow. Though to me it’s more like an emotional revolving door. If I dwell on it, I get stuck for too many revolutions. To successfully pass through, I have to stay focused on the present.
Patrick, but I admire you because no matter what may happen on those outings, you still make an attempt to have those outings happen. You don't hide behind the doors of your house or the doors of the facility where Patti is living and do life there. You go out and explore life with Patti, not knowing where it will take you or how much frustration, but yet you do go out and try. And that makes you a survivor for being a care giver and not one to give up lightly.
ReplyDeleteI know when my daughter was still at home and we would go out somewhere, we never knew what to expect either. Would something set her off to where she would become psychotic and threaten to kill herself or us? Would she say something that someone else might perceive as unkind in her abruptness with her autism that we would have to spend time smoothing feathers? We never knew but we attempted to include her in everything we did and accommodated her disabilities with what we did.
So I know the feeling of rolling the dice. The odds were mostly with us; sometimes not. But what an adventure.
Have a good weekend :)
betty
I admire you for taking your wife out and about and for caring even when its hard:)
ReplyDeleteDeb
Beautifully stated!
ReplyDeleteV