Friday, July 21, 2006

Caregiving: 21st Anniversary

     This picture was taken 21 years ago, yesterday. Seems mind-boggling when 15 of our 21 years have involved homecare by “moi” as spouse caregiver.

     Twelve years ago a US National Health Interview Survey found a divorce rate of 80% in households with a disabled adult.   

     Recently the New York Times tells us that is increasing:

“As modern medicine extends the lives of people with chronic diseases the divorce among them is increasing … Among the reasons, they say, are the stresses on the health of the spouse caring for a disabled partner, and the pressure on family finances, especially if one spouse has to stop working to stay home and tend the other….”        

      Isn’t it curious how we seem to study and observe why things don't work rather than how they can work?

     ... and 37 years ago, yesterday, a man walked on the moon. It seems to me that anything is possible.


  1. You are so very handsome and she is beautiful.... time reworks us, like a sculpture with clay. You have broken the records in more ways than one. You must be a spokesperson for spouses of MS partners... or should be... what a positive influence you are for them. I don't mean to diminish the anguish and the struggling with finances, raising children, changes in family routines, and every other area of living that I don't need to mention... but you do bear a message, and you clearly have found a way to travel through the life that MS (or other disability requiring a caregiver) has created for you. Have you written a book about your life, Patti's life? I would think you qualify to speak out in this area, and there is obviously a need for the kind of help you offer in your journal.

    I love the wedding photo... you are both happy there, and you are happy now. True love! God bless you both. Bea

  2. Happy Anniversary:) love the photos quite a cute couple still are i might add.


  3. Happy Anniversary, you are amazing you know.  Not many men would stick with their wifes in a situation like this.  I know a few gals at my nursing home that have had their husbands leave them and go be with someone else and then stop visiting them all together.  One girl, my age, even had her husband start a relationship with one of the aides that worked at the nursing home!  Congratulations on what you have achieved!  Linda

  4. ,,,What a lovely picture and how wonderful you have had 21 years together to share love and the challenges of family and life's changes.  The abundant adventures, laughs, and special memories are the joys of each antiversary.  Hold each moment securely in your heart.  Can't Patti at least have some of a wine cooler? lol  Or champagne for that matter!  After all it is a celebration!

  5. Happy anniversary.  I love Patti's dress, especially the edging, she's a princess.  You look well together and still do.

    Any journey with someone can take unexpected turns but expecially when one is ill, but it's then you get to know all there is to know about them.  You two have done a wonderful job together so cellebrate in your own style and have a wonderful day.  ((( both of u ))) Rache

  6. Happy anniversary! What a smashing couple you made (make). Patti so beautiful of a bride and you stunning in your white tux. I honestly believe that had you known where life would have taken you so shortly down the road you still would have watched Patti walk down the aisle and marry her that day. Your love for her and your care for her is so obvious in the way you write your entries; like another commenter said, you really need to write a book of your experiences so that perhaps down the road someone who finds themselves in a similar situation won't take the "easy" way out with divorce but will see it is doable to remain married and honor vows made.



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