July 20, 1985 it was 93°F (34°C) under sunny skies, ours
was an unconventional wedding with outdoor ceremony followed by picnic
reception - BYOCC (bring your own change of clothes)
26 years later it was 95°F (35°C) and well I guess
we are still ‘unconventional’. Multiple Sclerosis has left only one of us still
able to change their own clothes and only one can still remember.
26 years ago we
specifically DID NOT promise to “love and honor … in sickness and in health,
until death do us part.”
If you are trying to read anything into our story
about vows and 21+ years of MS spouse caregiving - fugetaboutit.
We DID promise to “Love
one another, but make not a bond of love.”
Maybe the story is best told through a wedding gift.
Largest on the gift table it was also the most
baffling upon opening – a giant mixing bowl, 14” (35.5 cm) in diameter, 7”
(17.8 cm) high it holds 9 quarts (8.5 l) and weighs about 8 lbs (3.6 kg).
Though 26 years later
through Google, I now know it is a McCoy Stone Craft Pink & Blue Mixing Bowl
#14 and to some a collectible though to us it remains just our ‘big bowl’.
People into symbolism
will tell you a bowl is a symbol of nourishment, emptied and refilled
over and over throughout life.
A big bowl is where a
family works their practical magic, transforming ingredients into cookies,
cakes, meat loaf, salads, etc.
More than ingredients also
goes life; the good, the bad, and the ugly, laughs and sadness, hopes and
fears, dreams and challenges. In that apparently empty bowl is the beneficence
that turns people into family.
related entry: 25th wedding anniversary
Caregivingly Yours, Patrick Leer
web site: caregivinglyyours.com