Not actually dealing with daily hands on caregiving can make one forget how constantly suffocating home caregiving is. It is that 24/7 suffocation that most affects the caregiver. It is relentless!
With Patti in a care facility, I find myself reflecting on some aspect as if it was in the abstract. That is a wrong image to project because it ignores the feelings of suffocation that surround you and what you can even try to do
A perfect example was a simple family shopping trip Friday evening. We stopped by to see if Patti wanted to get out and go shopping with us for some odds and ends, Father’s Day, etc followed by a stop at Dairy Queen. We found her preparing for a game of bingo but she chose the shopping alternative.
Her transfers were difficult and her ability to understand verbal cues was almost non-existent. I haven’t seen her so confused in such a long time
This and more deteriorated into BOTH bladder and bowel accidents leaving store. – The worse possible location because you have no way to clean her up and have no choice but to engage in a messy transfer to car and back to care facility for a shower and change of clothes.
Needless to say the Dairy Queen visit was abandoned
The ‘simplest things’ become so complicated and at risk OR you just stop including Patti in them. Caregiving for a spouse living with MS suffocates every breath you try to take.